Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
