So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
