I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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