When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
