I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
