he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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