im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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