I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
