Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
