You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
