hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
