Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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