Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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