I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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