Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
