Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
