Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
