I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im holly from the hills drunk
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im part way to drunk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
