Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
