i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
