I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
