I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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