He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize