I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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