she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
