so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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