I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
