After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
