I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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