the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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