What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize