I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
