got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
bring money and cleavage
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
