therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
