is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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