Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
