Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
