Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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