Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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