I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
