don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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