yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
