Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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