the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
