I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
