nut hugger
oh god the rape fog is back!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
