My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
