none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
