idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
