i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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