All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
