we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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