Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize