Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
