I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
