So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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