I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
