Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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