well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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