Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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